


Love and Lies

by Ninety_Six_Thousand



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Thomas Jefferson, I'm so sorry, M/M, This is really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 10:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8887204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninety_Six_Thousand/pseuds/Ninety_Six_Thousand
Summary: "Lie to me.""I love you."





	

**Author's Note:**

> These are my children and I love them, do why so I feel the need to keep killing them?

James Madison didn't keep his disdain for his boyfriend's choice of identifier a secret. Thomas always noticed it in the way his face scrunched up when he saw Thomas in a dress. The way he frowned when Thomas admired a make up type or nail polish that she liked. The way he had to bite down transphobic comments. The way he mainly didn't bite down on his transphobic comments.

So, Thomas wasn't really surprised when it happened. She wanted to be, desperately wanted to be, but she wasn't.

Madison walked in on her doing her makeup and she twirled around in the knee length blue dress she had on. "How do I look?" She smiled with hope painfully obvious in her eyes.

Madison shook his head and sighed, wondering if he could go one day without this shit. "Do you want me to tell you the truth or lie to you?"

Thomas' eyes lost the light of hope she always kept just in case. "Lie to me."

Suddenly, Madison was overcome by rage toward his boyfriend. How could he live like this, and not even consider Madison's opinion on it? Mustering up all the venom he could, Madison answered, "I love you." He walked out.

Thomas stood there numb for what seemed like hours. Hell, it might have been hours. She wouldn't have noticed if it was. Madison didn't love her anymore. Did he ever love her? That was a question she didn't really want to think about right now.

Madison knew he shouldn't have said what he did. He knew he probably broke his boyfriend's heart, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

It wasn't until Hamilton confronted him that he realized what exactly he had done.

Hamilton all but stalked up to him, demanding to know what he had done to Jefferson.

"What?" He had numbly questioned.

"I have tried to start arguments with them like seven times, and they keep brushing it off. What did you do?"

John Laurens came running up to Alexander after a few minutes. "Alex! What are you doing?" He looked between Alex's seething and Madison before realizing what was going on. "I'm so sorry. We were just walking down the street and he ran off. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, just. Why do you care?" He was honestly confused. Hamilton hated Jefferson, so why did he care so much?

Alex held on to John's hand for comfort. "Nobody should have to have their heart broken."

"I see." He gestured to John. "And you're just with him?"

John smiled and raised his left hand, showing off a small silver ring. "Through thick and thin."

That's when Madison realized what a mistake he had made. He was supposed to stick with Thomas and support him - them - through thick and thin. Through things he agreed with and things he didn't.

"I-I've got to go. Sorry. Bye," Madison yelled over his shoulder as he ran toward his and Thomas' house.

He finally arrived and hesitated before knocking on the door. He wasn't welcome here anymore. He had to knock.

When he didn't get an answer, his mind rushed through thoughts of Thomas laying on his -their- bed, not having showered in three days, in a severe depression. He hated to think he could have done that to someone he loved.

When he had unlocked and opened the door, he did find Thomas laying in their bed, and his mind automatically assumed that he had sent Thomas into a severe mental decline.

Gently shaking Thomas to wake them, he noticed a bottle of pills next to the bed. It was open. He looked inside. It was empty. No. It couldn't be. No.

He bit his lip to keep from crying. There was no way. Thomas wouldn't. He looked again to find a small note next to the pill bottle.

Unfolding it with shaking hands, Madison tasted his mouth fill with blood, alerting him to the fact that he should probably stop. He didn't stop. The note read:

_To whom it may concern,_  
_I'm sorry that I couldn't stick around longer. I wanted to but there were pressing circumstances. I hope you understand._  
_Alexander Hamilton:_  
_Congrats on almost being a worthy opponent. And thank you for the endorsement when I needed it. No hard feelings; I wish you all the best._  
_Aaron Burr:_  
_You are a great man. I am not sure on your morals, but I think you would make a wonderful leader. I sincerely hope they will choose you to be the next president._  
_Lafayette:_  
_I do hope you succeed in freeing your country. I would be there with you if I could. I hope you know that._  
_Finally, James Madison:_  
_I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you loved. Never doubt, however, that I never stopped loving you. It hurt me so much to know that you couldn't love me while I couldn't stop being enamored by you. But, don't blame yourself for this. In no way is this your fault. Never forget that I will always love you._

_Forever yours,_  
_Thomas Jefferson._

By the time he had finished, tears were streaming down his face. He looked down at Thomas, feeling the full weight of what he had done. He lifted Thomas out of the bed, marveling at how lifeless and cold their skin was.

He bent Thomas over the toilet once he got them to the bathroom, sticking his own fingers down Thomas' throat.

"Please, Thomas. Please." He continued to attempt to activate Thomas' lifeless gag reflex.

"Come on, Thomas!" Tears were streaming down his face, but Thomas remained as dead as ever.

"Please," was the last small whimper that escaped before he gave up. He pulled Thomas - no, Thomas' body - to his chest and sobbed into their shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." He stayed there, crying into the dark hours of the night until the cops finally came. When they did, though, he couldn't really bring himself to care.

 


End file.
